2018 was the year of rebuilding. It started out looking like my last year on earth, but somehow miraculously turned into the year I finally gained some peace within. Here are the highlights.
What went well in 2018
Work – The first half of 2018 was shxt (as detailed below) and because of this, my work suffered immensely. Fortunately, things started to pull together later in the year, and my work improved. I went from 2 hours a week if I’m lucky to a consistent 4 hours per day (which is ideal for me), and feedback from clients improved significantly. I also streamlined my services a bit and built a whole new website (that’s still not totally done, but much improved).
Trusting Myself – If you miss deadlines and break rules often enough, people stop trusting you and you stop trusting yourself. This year I did the hard, painful work of slowly regaining trust in myself by focusing on commitments to myself over others, and following the voice within. The more mini-goals I set and achieved, the more I started to believe in myself again, and realize that I am still capable of fulfilling the dreams I was ready to give up on.
What didn’t go well in 2018
Rock Bottom – The year started with me crying myself to sleep in Mexico City, desperately wanting to die. Living in a Spanish country was a lifelong dream, and Mexico was great, but I couldn’t escape my depression long enough to enjoy it. I booked an early flight back home and spent the next few months chasing rock bottom. Rock bottom came in early May. The good news about that is: the only place to go when you hit rock bottom is in a grave or up, and I’m still alive to tell the tale. So yay.
Lost Friendships – Not everyone loses five friends in one year, but not everyone is me. As part of my recovery, I had to seriously examine the friendships I had, and eliminate those that did not suit me or my needs. Not all of these people are horrible people, and I will continue loving and supporting them from afar. Our morals and requirements for friendship simply didn’t align anymore, so it was better for us to go our separate ways rather than make ourselves miserable trying to keep these relationships alive.
What’s ahead for 2019
Habits – At first, I started listing out business and personal goals I want to accomplish in 2019, but then I dug into James Clear’s new book, Atomic Habits, and realized I need to turn these into habits instead. I’ve taken it one step further and turned it into a game – points every week for every habit I stick to – which I will track until the end of the year and score myself. More on this in next week’s post.
A few specific habits I want to stick include working for 4 hours per day, reading for an hour a day, spending at least 2 hours per week building passive income projects, and keeping my blogs and social media posts consistent.
Eurotrip – Traveling is hard when you’re a third world freelancer, but I try to save up enough to do it at least once every year. Since 2013 (or possibly earlier), I’ve wanted to travel to Europe, but haven’t done it because life or finances always got in the way. Luckily, Eurotravel is getting a lot cheaper and my best friend is getting married in Germany this year! So all going well, I will be making my first trip to a few European cities this year. More on that later on.
I publish this publicly to “cement my plans in stone”, but unfortunately, I haven’t exactly been known for consistency. With that in mind I can’t say for sure that I will accomplish these; however, I will do the best I can I stick to these plans and make 2020 Stacy proud – because that’s what truly matters.
*This post was inspired by Paul Jarvis’ State of the Union