Whenever a friend or relative calls my dad, convo goes a little something like this:
Person: “Where’s Stacy?”
Dad: “She in her room, probably sleeping.” (never true, because I’m hearing him disturb me while I’m working)
Person: “Yeah, how is she?”
Dad: “Big, and getting bigger.” / “Eating everything in sight.” / Some reference to my weight or size.
So today I confronted him. I said:
“Listen, Daddy. I am a 25yo marketing graduate. I’ve held jobs many Jamaicans aspire to – which has afforded me travel and flexibility.
I currently work online with clients in three different continents, all from the comfort of my home – something many people dream of. I pay our bills and put food on our table every single day. I clean our home and cook our food which you partake in each day.
I have grown into a confident, self-assured young woman who values her education and independence, despite your constant shaming since I was a toddler.
AND THE ONLY THING YOU CAN TELL PEOPLE WHEN THEY ASK HOW I’M DOING IS THAT I AM FAT AND LAZY?! Stop doing it.”
All my life I’ve struggled with weight issues, which has led to low-esteem, poor lifestyle choices and most recently, severe bouts of depression
Now, thanks to help from multiple sources, most notably the #effyourbeautystandards movement on Instagram, Brittany Gibbons and her book Fat Girl Walking, and my dear friend Nas Older and her #ProjectBRAVE mission (in which I’m featured), I’m learning to love the skin I’m in no matter what size I am, speak out when people make an attempt to demean me and attack my physical appearance, and share my story with others so they can do the same.
Whether you’re fat because you want to be, or because you have some health issues that affect your weight. Whether you’re comfortable or hate the fact that you jiggle uncontrollably in the mirror. Whether you exercise and keep healthy, or you laze around in bed all day. Whether you are in a relationship or single. IT’S NOT ANYONE’S FUCKING BUSINESS BUT YOURS. And it’s time they understand that their ‘concern’ and efforts to help you ‘make better choices’ are only hurtful and perpetuating the problem.
Just like me, you are way more than your weight. But the truth is, no matter how many things you accomplish in life and how beautiful you are inside, some people will only see what’s skin deep. That’s never your fault, it’s theirs.